1. cancer season is over

july notes

🕊️ spaces in between

I'm Yihui, and I'm grateful for you joining! You're receiving this, because you either signed up to my newsletter, or it was forwarded to you. If you enjoyed this, feel free to forward it to a friend.

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It’s been a hot minute.

I’ve noticed a recurring theme across my interests lately. In photography, I’d always been drawn to the spaces in between — between objects or people, moments when time seem to still and you’re allowed to pause and feel. At first I didn’t think see a connection in my other interests. That same thought shows up in my curiosity about third (and fourth) spaces, my recent desire in hosting and holding space for others, and my love for digital spaces, especially the cosier web and other corners of the internet. At the core of it all is the intimacy of slowing down to reflect and feel deeply within a space, which is what I’ve been writing on my blog and my other personal spaces.

Hence, “Spaces in Between” — how I see, create, and care for the spaces around me, and within me.

This newsletter will contain shorter bursts of personal reflections and personal life updates on a monthly basis (or whenever I can). I hope it sticks around a little longer this time.

🎐 birthday self-portrait

half-day trip to a glamping site to reflect and shoot some birthday self-portraits

I think I found something to do annually on my birthday: a self-portrait shoot.

I’ve been wanting to experiment on some creative self-portraits, but it never felt like a priority. Then this came along and started out on a whim. I wanted a few casual photos to accompany my birthday blog post about 32 lessons.

I like how I look in mirrors at home, but I almost always find it difficult to see the same in photos. It often doesn’t land, at least in my eyes. Maybe I don’t know my best angles yet, or the lenses aren’t right. Either way, I’d be lying if I said it didn’t affect my self-esteem. Looks do matter to a degree, and I do care about how I look, even though I may appear nonchalant about it. But I hate bothering my friends or family to retake photos until I’m satisfied. It would feel like I care too much, that I may appear too vain.

As I write this, I recall a sudden past memory. My family used to call me “vainy” as a child, because I liked to look pretty. I think I took that to heart in a demeaning way as a child, and even up until recent years. But I’m changing that.

So, self-portraits, it is, until I figure out how I look good in photos on my own terms.

At first it was awkward to shoot myself in public, aware of prying eyes on me. But once I found my rhythm and gave myself permission to take up more space (metaphorically), it becomes a bit easier to ignore the people. I had more fun with it. Maybe it’s partly due to confidence boost too, as I got more comfortable. I definitely want to explore more of this in future.

🎐 i hope u get the peace u need

experiencing Fred Again.. in Singapore. Expensive, but so worth it.

I like to believe there are many ways to hold space, and I think Fred Again.. does it in an unconventional way.

At his live show, everyone was in their own zone, releasing and feeling to the beat of the music. The space was like a sauna (not an exaggeration), crammed with people and no alcohol involved. But it didn’t matter because I was immersed completely in the moment. Fred’s music isn’t purely EDM. It’s a blend of electronic, house, and maybe some pop elements, and some even packed with feeling. He samples real life conversations, weaving his own unique twists into his tracks with such resonance.

I thought experiencing his live set was amazing enough. But when I cried listening to his Tiny Desk set, from my friend’s recommendation, oof. That’s when I knew I love his work even more, especially the passion he puts into it. I love people who are incredibly passionate in what they do.

I like music, but not enough in deciphering music theory. But I think enough to understand what moves me, what a good musician is all about.

Fred also seems to be a kind and humble person, and that counts for a lot.

🎐 other snippets

Hosted my first public workshop

I did want to host a public workshop eventually this year, but I didn’t think it would happen this soon. It was a mid year reset workshop, reflecting the past 6 months and the next ones ahead. My friend also co-hosted with a tea art meditation.

I tried to convince myself at first that I only liked hosting friends and not become a “facilitator”. But I’m glad I went through it anyway, despite the disguised fear and doubt.

It taught me a few things, namely the price and space. There’s a difference between a free and paid workshop, and the space matters a lot. Since it was free and held at a glamping site (almost outdoors), it only drew the attention of people who came for a day out with their dogs. Many weren’t intentional with their time and how they showed up for themselves. Still by the end of it, they did seem to like it, so I guess that still counts.

One participant asked about feeling stuck with the prompts. Tldr; I tried my best to remind everyone that the prompts are just a guide. I also encouraged them to follow their curiosity wherever it took them, keep asking why’s, and simply feel the feelings that come up. After that, they played with their dog for a bit but hey whatever works for you sis.

Restarted a YouTube channel

I like putting together videos. It feels easy for me to get into the flow — a flow of expressing myself, a way of documenting life, and creating an inner space for my thoughts and memories can safely live.

I used to have an old YouTube channel with all my older travel videos. However I wanted a new brand, a new start with clearer vision.

My first video is a travel vlog about my Chiang Mai trip in May. I have three more travel vlogs to edit. I’m also thinking of doing other lifestyle videos and short video essays. If that sounds like something you’d enjoy, come subscribe to my channel!

New third spaces series on Instagram

I’ve been making reels about my favourite third spaces. They tend to be hybrid places, where they serve more than one function.

I see spaces as a container for growth and connection. My idea is for people to think beyond catching up with friends, nudging them into noticing, reflecting, finding and making more meaning in the places they visit and in their lives.

Check them out on my Instagram page, and follow to catch my updates.

🎐 favourite media consumption

• Fred Again..’s Tiny Desk set: Mentioned earlier, but give it a listen if you haven’t already. It’s magic.

• The Colours Within: Many gentle pauses, with vibrant colours and a great soundtrack that lingers. If you love Yamada Naoko’s previous works, this is a must see.

• The Dark Web and the Cosy Web: Re-reading this this year, so I can be on a lookout for the cosier and more meaningful corners of the internet.

Til next time.

Warmest regards,
Yihui

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