3. eyes wide open

september notes: self-reliance and liking something enough to do the work

I wake up with more determination when I don’t rely on my alarm clock. If I do, I tend to procrastinate in bed scrolling on my phone until I regret it, but the cycle repeats itself the following day. The danger with the alarm clock is I know I can always rely on it to remind me to get out of bed, paradoxically making me less likely to act because there’s a safety net. But without an alarm, I have to be more self-reliant, somehow making it more natural to get up (and slightly less begrudgingly).

It makes me realise how much I rely on external structures. It felt the same at a full-time job, where it was day in, day out, always keeping myself busy. It was stable and the familiarity was somehow comforting, so I didn’t allow myself to fully reflect about what work really is to me. To be fair, I could have but I was always “busy”.

Without that structure now, I have more space, and with more space comes more freedom to experiment. But I also need to be more self-reliant. The uncertainty is uncomfortable, forcing me to figure out what matters to me on my own, but necessary for my self-discovery.

Recently I discovered three levels of interests: I like the thing enough to put in the work, I like the thing but not enough to do the work, and I just like the idea of it. There is a huge difference, but the main difference is the willingness to do the (unglamorous) work. Unpacking helps, but it’s taken me some experiments and doing actual work to see what my true interests are.

I don’t have all the answers yet, but I’m learning that self-reliance and experimentation go together. The trick is to notice when I’m relying on the safety net of an “alarm clock”, and when it’s time to just trust myself to get up and do the work.

🎐 blog post: thoughts on community

I’ve been seeing a rise of social clubs in recent years, with the intention of building a community. Is community something we find in brands, influencers, clubs, or the people around us? And what does a real community look like in times of loneliness and digital illusion?

I have some thoughts about it. And I might build one in future.

An excerpt from my blog post:

But that’s the thing: community has a cost, and it’s inconvenience. And maybe that’s the beauty of it: Good things and building trust take effort (and effort is proof of care even when it’s inconvenient), which includes sacrificing peace to show up for your friends and risking social discomfort or even rejection. Living with some form of community is part of what makes life more fulfilling, and discomfort is the price that’s worth paying.

In a world that’s obsessed with efficiency, these little “inconveniences” are what actually builds trust and intimacy in a community.

I’m planning to repost it on Substack, but for now, you can read here.

🎐 snippets

Journaling workshop with Mossery

When a friend from Mossery invited me to co-host a journaling workshop, I didn’t hesitate to say yes. The theme this time was exploring your life purpose through the Ikigai method. It was a smaller group, which made the conversations feel more personal and intimate. Everyone’s Ikigai looked different, and it reminded me that clarity isn’t about finding a perfect answer and your answer is not always the same. Sometimes your Ikigai shifts with different stages of life, and that’s okay.

Singapore vlog

I made a vlog about my Singapore trip to watch Fred again live. Such a treat! It was so much fun watching Fred and his team perform live.

You can watch this short vlog here.

Quick update: Short-term project

Side quest be side-questing. Never thought I’d be doing some work for a big retail space. For now, it’s mostly helping to set up lifestyle markets and activities. But soon, a new creative space will be coming together, and I’m excited for that. More soon.

🎐 favourites

• How to Manage Multiple Interests & Actually CREATE Something:
  I’d been following the Sublime app for the longest time, but this video was the one that finally convinced me to give it a try. I relate to the title sooo much, and a nudge from a friend helped too :’)

• Holding community space
  I love how the author broke down what makes a community space thrive using real examples from running a multipurpose space. The essentials are simple, but important: trust, belonging, agency, abundance, and purpose.

• You Are Your Cultural Diet
  What you consume matter, as it can shape your personality and your identity. But like any diet, it’s good when it’s balanced.

---

🍵 If you enjoy my newsletter, share it with your friends. Buying a cup of coffee, or be a paid subscriber is also great and much appreciated :’)