2. letting things unfold
august notes
đď¸ spaces in between
I finally feel more settled into my daily routines, accepting this current stage of life on my own terms. Maybe it was the accumulation of the past few months: traveling, recovering, and trying to find my bearing. It felt like a liminal space: I was working on my interests for my next transition⌠but it also felt like I wasnât moving at all. There was still a gnawing sense of societal pressure to pick a lane and stick to it.
But something shifted in August. I think I got too tired of forcing things into place, so I decided to just let things gooo. (Alternatively: If trying so hard doesnât work, why not try it softer) So thatâs what I did: I kinda just let go of most things and allowed them to happen, instead of pushing or hoping too insistently (surprise surprise: itâs learning the art of detachment). Thatâs not to say I sat around doing nothing. I still worked on things, but with more trust in the process. That trust grew when the space I carved for myself finally felt like home â cosy, safe, and mine. It also helped when I started consistently reflecting again through my journaling, making my own decisions and taking more actions align with my values.
August also brought its own share of reminders: I attended a friendâs wedding, a close family friendâs funeral, and another friendâs wedding at the end of this month. Celebration and grief, joy and loss, all side by side. These events further crystallised that life happens anyway, regardless if youâre ready for it or not. (thank you for the wisdom, Uncle Iroh).
đ blog post: spaces in between
In my previous issue, I talked a bit about finding recurring themes across my interests and how they tie back to how I care for the spaces in between. I wrote more in my blog post. Hereâs an excerpt:
If we're able to take just a second to pause before acting, we may realise we have more power and freedom to choose our response. A driver cuts into your lane? Maybe they had simply forgotten, though they usually don't. It started to rain just before your run? Maybe you can train indoors or rest instead. The point isn't to suppress any feelings, but to feel them, then choose our response once you've let the space in.
What does it mean to create a space safe enough to pause and be with our thoughts? How do we create such spaces for ourselves? What feelings emerge from there? And how do we respond to them?
These are the thoughts that echo across my other interests, such as third (and fourth) spaces, my recent desire in hosting and holding space for others, and digital spaces â especially the cosier corners of the internet. At the core, it's the intimacy of using these spaces to slow down and deeply reflect on our actions to inform better decisions and behaviour.
I want to create and tend to the spaces in between â around me and within me â across different mediums. My work would live in these moments, where connection, beauty, and meaning can unfold. And in these spaces of stillness and intimacy, ultimately I hope to spark conversations around learning (unlearning), discovering, and making meaning to one's lives.
đ other snippets
Camera confidence challenge
I got a tripod to practice feeling and being more confident in front of a camera, focusing on posing and facial expressions. I believe that most things are a skill issue, and this feels the same. And itâs also a matter of getting more comfortable with being seen. I wrote about my birthday self-portrait shoot in my last issue, so getting a tripod is a natural continuation of honing my skill of looking better in photos.
With this tripod, I can take as much time and as many shots as I want, taking up more space (physically and my self esteem) as a way of honouring myself.
I already did 6 days worth of videos and shared them privately with some friends. One of them suggested to look up David Suh, and another suggested taking more selfies (which was how she personally used to get better at it too).
Published my Sibu and Bangkok travel vlog
Iâve been experimenting more with colour grading for the Bangkok vlog (the most recent video). Iâd been making my own videos on-off for the past decade, but they were no more than 4 minutes. My recent vlogs have been longer, and took a bit of mental stamina. It wasnât so much the editing itself, but endurance to stick with it. And with lengthier videos comes more perfectionism (and procrastination due to the fear of not being good enough). Thankfully, I hope itâs mostly a matter of practice and accumulating experience.
I still have one more travel vlog (Singapore) to edit, then Iâm ready to explore other content â perhaps daily routines or video essays.
Short term project coming soon
Iâve also been in talks for a paid project that involves spaces (in some way). Just a little update here for those following. Itâs exciting, but also hella scary to see my interests materialise right in front of me. More on that soon when itâs confirmed!
đ favourite media consumption
Dialectic - Tamara Winter: This podcast is now one of my favourites. Jackson Dahl interviews Tamara Winter in this episode, centering âtacit trust and caring curiosityâ. One of my favourite parts is when she talks about taste and deploying it, that is actually doing things with it.
Flounder mode: I look up to Brie Wolfson and Kevin Kelly. They both do great work by following their curiosities, which is very validating to someone like me whoâs also doing things that interest me.
Materialists: This is not the romcom youâd expect. If you liked Materialists, you should also see Celine Songâs Past Lives if you havenât already. Back to the point: Do you want to be valued materially or emotionally? (but also why canât I choose both?)
đľ I'm Yihui, and I'm grateful for you reading!
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